Oh where, oh where did all the women go?

As we start the new year, I have been reflecting back on what I learned in 2022. Being Wisdom’s first year in business, it gave me the opportunity to speak with over 100 women nationally (a few outside the US as well) who are in search of “what’s next” in their careers. Most of the women I spent time with are gainfully employed, successful, life-long career leaders who are at a cross-roads in their career journey. They generally reach out to Wisdom when they are looking for something new, different, or just better than their current situation. Throughout my conversations I learned SO MUCH about what women need, want, and require to be successful not just in the workplace, but in life. I am incredibly grateful every day that I get to know these women, learn their stories, and maybe support them along their way to a more meaningful future.

Throughout my conversations, what I found most fascinating is that there were common themes true for all women regardless of age, race, parenting status, class, or work experience. The most profound of all is that women want to be seen and heard. Like really heard. Unfortunately, as you will see the research shows, we are not.

Women for decades have been asking for what they need to be successful, and generally (I know there are exceptions to every rule) they have been met with two options:

1. Behave like a man, we will treat you like a man, and give you a seat at the table. But you only get one seat, so you will have to fight other women for it. But don’t be too masculine because then you seem “bitchy” or “bossy”. Master the balance between your inner male and female.

2. Behave like a woman and we will treat you like a woman. We will pay you less, we will allow you to stand in the room around our table, and we may promote you if you do twice the work of your male counterparts.

Option one, many women have embraced. We have watched some bad-ass women climb the ranks, and blaze trails for those that have come after them. However, much of their success has come at a cost. For those that come from privilege, it has often meant that they have outsourced all of the traditionally “female” roles within the household. From childcare to house cleaners it’s all taken care of so that women can focus on competing and securing their seat at the table. However, in a place like the US that has one of the highest rates of children living in single-parent households, and 80% of those being single mothers, how do they remain competitive? For women that can’t afford to outsource their responsibilities they are asked to make daily concessions on prioritizing what matters most. Success feels impossible and burnout is inevitable resulting in more women leaving the traditional workplace. As a result, the equity gap continues to grow as we get further from the ideal state. Sadly, this is nothing new and often times something we have grown to accept as status quo.

We have all seen the McKinsey Report that came out earlier in 2022. For those of us that have been paying attention, none of what was published was “new”. If anything, it validated that no one is listening because most of what was published women have been talking about for years. If anything we should be scratching our heads as to why this is the “eighth year” this report has been published, yet we have seen little change in the workplace. A recent UN report highlighted all that continues to remain the same year over year:

• Women are concentrated in lower-paid, lower-skill work.

• For every dollar men earn, women earn 77 cents.

• Women are under-represented in decision-making roles.

• Women carry out at least 2.5 times more unpaid work than men.

• At the current rate, it will take 257 years to close the global gender pay gap.

While the number of women returning to the workplace has increased since the “Shecession” of the Pandemic, most women are returning because of inflation, not because they want to. Women are being forced back to jobs where they are underpaid and undervalued, not because the conditions have improved.

Despite lousy work conditions for many, more than 90% of those we spoke with want to work. Their careers are worth a great deal to them. Having a greater purpose, contributing on a higher level, earning their own livings, blazing their own trails, all of it matters. AND most of these women are BALLERS. Meaning, not only do they want to work, but they are willing to work long and hard to gain success. Women will consistently show up day after day giving their all until ultimately they reach their limits. Generally, it is because one of a these things has happened:

1. They no longer feel valued in their current position.

2. Their current employer is asking them to return to the office, but is not paying them more to outsource all of the other roles they need covered while working in person.

3. Their current role has no greater purpose. Many of you said that you spend most of your days in meetings or on tasks that have no meaningful impact to the business. If you are going to be away from your families and personal lives you want to feel like you are doing something impactful.

The women we talked to are in search of jobs that:

1. Allow them to work the way they want to

2. Have a greater purpose (this comes in many forms)

3. Pay them what they are worth

4. Have values that align with their own personal values.

And finally we heard over and over again that women are exhausted. It is likely why we continue to see the trend of “Quiet Quitting”. HBR published an article that outlines how this is not a new thing, but rather a human response to when people feel trapped and over stressed. Women have been exhausted for a lot longer than the past three years, but now that it seems that it’s become an issue more broadly it’s a topic of conversation people are paying attention to. The research shows that for organizations to reverse passivity among employees they must give them autonomy and more control over their life and choices. So, basically, if we just listened to women and tried to implement new ways of working decades ago maybe we would be much further along going into 2023.

Who knows? We certainly don’t have the answers, but when you sit with it, you realize it’s likely not that difficult. Women want to be given a job to do, a timeline (and budget) to do it in, and then for people to get out of their way so they can do their jobs. However, we have major organizations throwing millions at trying to figure out how to solve these problems because staring reality in the face means giving up control and trusting people to do their jobs. If we could all agree in this new future of work, and create systemic change that measures success by impact produced vs hours worked we would see productivity AND happiness in the workplace increase. It would allow us to lean into the full meaning of inclusion and equity and create work environments and success metrics that would allow anyone to succeed regardless of privilege or opportunity.

If you made it to here, thank you. To say I learned a lot in 2022 would be an understatement. The biggest take away for me is that we need to listen to women more often and apply these learnings to evolve how we work. As 2023 unfolds , Wisdom plans to have more meaningful conversations with women and other underrepresented communities to better understand how we can continue to push for a more inclusive workplace. Wisdom’s focus this year will continue to be on women, but will also branch out to those in the neurodiverse community. If you would like to be a part of our conversations, please reach out. We would be happy to have you join us info@thisiswisdom.com.

Cheers to a wonderful and prosperous 2023!